


A marriage. And an affair

by MarisaBelacqua



Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarisaBelacqua/pseuds/MarisaBelacqua
Summary: This is my version of how Lord Asriel and Mrs Coulter met
Relationships: Lord Asriel/Marisa Coulter
Kudos: 8





	1. Prologue

"Rupert!" Marisa cried, flinging her arms around him.  
"I've missed you so much, this month has been torture,"  
She kissed him, one hand on the back of his neck and one reaching down to entwine her fingers in his dæmon's fur. He did the same, running his fingers over her golden monkey's head.  
She didn't see what his dæmon would inevitably settle as due to her mother, who had just stormed out of the college building behind them. Marisa was dragged away from Rupert with her mother hissing in her ear,  
"Shameful girl, you are getting married to Edward Coulter tomorrow morning and he will put a stop to this silliness,"  
At her first chance - which was three months later - Marisa went back to the college to find Rupert and apologise but she was told there was nobody with that name in the college records. She checked the city's records but it seemed that Rupert didn't exist. There was no mention of him anywhere. It seemed he had vanished into thin air. Admitting defeat, she walked home, vowing to herself that she would put Rupert out of her mind and get on with her new life - as much as she hated it.


	2. Five years later

Marisa Coulter walked swiftly into the party, she hoped that entering quickly and quietly would mask the fact she had arrived late. Sitting down at an empty table, she saw her husband across the room and rolled her eyes. He never acted like a grown up and he really got on her nerves. There was someone sitting down at her table, she vaguely recognised him from other parties but she had never spoken to him. He had dark brown hair and the beginnings of a beard. His blue-green eyes flashed as he looked at her. His snow leopard dæmon flopped down next to him.  
“Hello,” he smiled awkwardly at her, “It’s Mrs Coulter isn’t it? I’m a friend of your husband’s.”  
“Good to see you,” she replied, smiling back because - by his facial expression - he obviously felt quite self conscious.  
“I’m Asriel by the way-” he began to say but was cut off by Mr Coulter saying loudly to his wife,  
“Ah Marisa, I see you have met my dear friend Asriel,” he said the words dear friend as if they were poison and it was obvious he didn’t like Asriel one bit. He was too polite to protest though as Ariel sat with them through three courses of food.   
Edward Coulter left to go and talk to some other party guests and Mrs Coulter was left alone with Asriel, who was now taking the opportunity of her other half leaving to stare at a place south of her face.   
"Asriel, my face is here," Mrs Coulter said with a small smile, reaching across the table and tilting his head up so he was now looking in a more decent place.  
“Ah, yes… sorry,” he shifted awkwardly on his chair. Mrs Coulter’s monkey dæmon lifted its paw and gently placed it on top of his snow leopard’s much larger paw.  
The moment was broken by Edward reappearing and whisking Mrs Coulter out of the room.   
Asriel left soon after and didn’t see Mrs Coulter again for what felt like years but was only really two weeks. He couldn’t take his mind off her; he knew it was wrong and he knew she was married but he really liked her. And Asriel’s ray of hope was that she didn’t seem to like Edward as much as he seemed to like her.


	3. Get him alone....almost

He saw her next at a presentation he was doing on his work at Jordan College. Better still, she was alone. After his presentation, one of the scholars handed him a neatly handwritten note. It read: Meet me in the empty classroom across the corridor after your presentation, M x  
A fizz of excitement flooded through him; she wanted to see him! He must have made an impression.  
He crossed the corridor with a spring in his step and opened the door to the classroom. Mrs Coulter was sitting on a wooden bench at the side of the room wearing a crimson dress with her hair loose, falling past her shoulders. As he entered she gave him a small embarrassed smile.  
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to see you. Have I interrupted you?”  
“No, not at all, you could never interrupt me Mrs Coulter.”  
“Call me Marisa,” she smiled at him and motioned for him to sit beside her. As he sat, she lightly put her hand on top of his but said nothing more.  
"Marisa," Asriel started to say and then faltered as he heard footsteps and someone calling his name.  
"Go," she said, "I shouldn't have come in the first place and my husband will have missed me by now."  
As they got up, Mrs Coulter kissed him on the cheek and left in the opposite direction so as not to be seen.  
Resolving never to wash that cheek until he saw her again, he exited the classroom, towards the voice calling him.


	4. Well that went well....

It had been two days and Lord Asriel - who still hadn't washed his cheek - was pacing his hallway trying to remember what he had forgotten. His dæmon sat at one end of the hallway looking at him with a roll of her eyes. Giving up trying to remember, he entered his lounge and slumped on to the sofa, his dæmon stretched out by the fire.  
He heard the flop of the letterbox and got up to investigate. He hardly ever received post and on the rare occasions he did, it arrived very early in the morning. Reaching the letterbox, he discovered a small square of card with an address on it. He flipped it over to find a handwritten note. It simply read: Tuesday at the address on the front at 7pm, don't be late. Marisa x   
His heart skipped several beats as he tucked the card into his pocket and turned to go upstairs.  
"She's married you know," his dæmon Stelmaria reminded him.  
"She was the one who invited me somewhere. I can't say no can I?" he replied with a grin, flapping the invite in his dæmon’s face.  
"Yes you can," she replied, looking at him with a judging expression. He turned on his heel and sprinted upstairs ignoring his dæmon's last remark. It was three days until Tuesday and they were going to be the slowest three days of his life.  
*****  
At last Tuesday arrived. He was stood outside the house that the address on the note had led him to. It was quite a grand house, painted cream with a neatly tiled roof. Autumn leaves blew across the porch as he reached for the doorbell. He heard the ringing of it somewhere inside the house, the tapping of footsteps and then the door opened. He gazed at her as she stood there, taking in everything from her light blue dress to her hair which was scooped back into a ponytail.   
"Are you going to stand there gawping all night or are you going to come in?" she asked, laughing at his expression.  
"Um, yes, right, ok" he stuttered as she stood aside to let him in.  
She led him into the lounge and asked with a smile, "Tea or wine?"  
"Tea, I came in my car. It's parked at the end of the road, " he replied, his dæmon laying down by the crackling fire.   
"Where's-" he began to ask but Mrs Coulter cut him off.  
"Working, we've got about two hours,"   
She brought two cups of tea and some fruit cake into the lounge, putting it down on the coffee table. She picked up her cup, kicked off her shoes and sat down next to him on the sofa. He must have put his arm around her at some point because when he reached to take his second slice of cake she leant back on his arm and said,  
"There were three pieces, that's one for you and two for me!"   
She giggled as Asriel, taking advantage of the position of his arm, tickled her side so she had to let him go.   
"I'm pretty sure it's one and a half each,"   
He smiled but then panic shot through them as they both heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the drive.   
"Quick, out the back door, he only left fifteen minutes ago, he's probably forgotten his keys or something," she said, looking worried, “I'll come out when he's gone.”  
Mrs Coulter got Asriel out the back door just in time and got back to the lounge to hide the extra cup and plate so as to not look suspicious. Edward Coulter entered the room, beaming at his wife. She didn't smile back.  
"What?" he asked, his dæmon walking over to hers which was sat by her legs.  
"Nothing," she said but she still didn't smile, she wasn't going to tell him what he'd nearly walked in on if her life depended on it.  
"Forgot my key to the gates of the college, they were locked by the time I got there." Edward explained.  
She huffed in reply and he left, pondering his wife's strange behaviour. She had never really been that fond of him, it was an arranged marriage after all but what he had done to upset her he couldn't think.  
Slipping on her shoes Mrs Coulter went out of her back door and looked around, Asriel had seemingly vanished but then she heard,  
"Pssst, up here,"  
Asriel had climbed the apple tree at the bottom of her garden and was sat on one of the lower branches.  
"Asriel, I'm wearing a dress!"  
"So?" he smiled down at her.  
"Oh, fine but it had better be worth it," she started to climb the tree and eventually made it to the branch Asriel was sitting on. He held her around the waist mainly to stop her falling but he enjoyed it all the same. She rested her head on his shoulder. Beneath them, Mrs Coulter’s monkey dæmon had rested its head on Asriel’s snow leopard’s fur. Mrs Coulter lifted her head and looked at Asriel. He smiled and gazed into her eyes. Without a second thought, he took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. In that moment he felt infinitely happy. Mrs Coulter jumped down from the tree and without a word, she walked back into the house leaving Asriel sitting in the tree.   
“What was that?” Stelmaria hissed, wincing as Asriel’s not so graceful descent from the tree resulted in him stepping on her tail.  
“I don’t know,” he replied with a groan as he exited the garden through the back gate and dragged his feet down the road.   
Meanwhile, Mrs Coulter was pacing her room pondering her actions. Deciding that she had done something she lay down on her bed and tried to fall asleep. She would find Asriel tomorrow and apologise.  
Little did she know that Asriel was going on a three month trip to the North and had decided that Marisa Coulter didn’t love him and would not miss him in the slightest.  
“Finally come to your senses, have you?” Stelmaria growled from the opposite side of the room.   
“I suppose,” he said tiredly as he lifted his suitcase up and switched off the light and left his house so he could get to his airship on time.


	5. Letter correspondence

Mrs Coulter walked slowly back home from work, she had nowhere she needed to be and nobody to talk to. Her husband was at work and the one person she really wanted to see had just left to go North for three months. She sat down on an empty bench and put her head in her hands. Why had she been so stupid? She shouldn’t have walked away. She had just felt a sudden disloyalty to her husband and didn’t deal with it very well. Her dæmon was pacing the length of the bench as she sat, trying to decide what to do. She would send a letter to him but he didn't have an address. Admitting defeat, she got up and walked home. She found a note on her doormat when she entered. She picked it up. The envelope bore her address and an Oxford postmark but the address on the piece of paper inside was one in the North. It could only be one place, surely?  
She ran upstairs, picked up her pen and began to phrase a letter. After many attempts, her bedroom floor was littered with screwed up pieces of paper and her finished letter looked like this.  
Dear Asriel,  
I tried to find you this morning, but your fellow scholars informed me that you had left for the North. I am sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me and if you could forgive me for my behaviour I would be forever grateful. I would love to see you when you return. Stay well and warm; I hope your research goes well.  
Marisa x  
She put the letter into an envelope and addressed it. Just to be safe, she took it to the post office straight away so her husband didn’t discover it.  
******  
Three days later, Asriel received the letter and groaned. He read it through twice and slumped down in his chair. How could he have been so stupid? He went over to his desk, took out a sheet of paper and wrote:  
My dear Marisa,  
I return from the North on the 1st of December. Please believe me when I say I forgive you and I hope to see you when I get back. I miss you  
Asriel  
The letter correspondence continued over the next two months until one day Edward Coulter stalked into the lounge with an envelope in his hand.  
"WHAT is this?"  
He flapped the envelope in front of his wife's face and she sighed.  
He ripped it open and read. When he had finished reading, the letter fell to the floor. He sat down next to his wife and said,  
"Is there anything you would like to tell me?"  
"No." Mrs Coulter replied.  
"Are you sure?" he said, picking up the letter and absent mindedly ripping it into pieces.  
"I'm sure." she said firmly and got up to leave.  
"You are not going anywhere until you write back to Asriel telling him it's over," he spat, standing up and grabbing the front of her blouse so she could barely breathe, let alone move. His lion dæmon had hold of her golden monkey by the neck and was scratching it around the face with its front paws. Mrs Coulter’s dæmon was fighting back, clawing the lion’s face with it’s tiny paws.  
"No," she said, spitting in his face.  
"Well if you won't do it willingly, I will have to give you a little persuasion, won't I?"  
*****  
Four days later Asriel received a very short letter in red ink, it simply read,  
My husband is a much better provider for my needs. He earns more money than you do and I can't think what I saw in you. It's over.  
M  
He sighed.   
"I don't want to say I told you so, but-"  
He screamed at his dæmon to be quiet and he stormed upstairs and collapsed on to his bed, falling into an uneasy sleep.  
When he woke up in the morning, he went and sat at his desk. The letter was still there. He picked it up to throw it in the fire but then he realised the ink was unusually sticky. He sniffed it. It didn't smell like ink. He didn't know what it smelled of. He reached over to get his ink pot, but as he did so, the side of his hand received a paper cut which then proceeded to bleed profusely. Once he had found a dressing, he went and sat back at his desk. The letter was still there, as was another piece of paper with some smears of blood on from his paper cut. He picked it up to throw it in the fire but then stopped. The stickiness of the blood on this paper was the same as the ink on Mrs Coulter's letter. It wasn't ink. It was blood.


	6. An Explaination

Mrs Coulter sat on her bed, nursing her hand. A deep cut ran from the base of her index finger to her wrist. It had been a week since the letter incident and her husband had not re-entered the house since he had stormed out to post the letter he had made her write in her own blood. The cut kept reopening and bleeding through the bandage she had tied around it. Picking up her bag in her uninjured hand, she reapplied her lipstick and left the house. She didn't know where to go but anywhere was better than where she had left. Wandering through an almost deserted street, she decided she would have to go home at some point but then somebody shouting her first name made her stop in her tracks. Hardly anybody knew her first name, owing to the fact she was forced to introduce herself as Mrs Coulter by her husband, as if he owned her.  
She turned around, just in time to see Asriel running towards her before he collided with her, giving her one of the most welcoming hugs she had ever received.   
"Asriel, not here," she said, gently releasing herself from his grip. He took her hand and led her inside one of the smarter houses on the street. She winced and pulled her hand out of his grip.   
"What-" he said, then he looked down at her hand and gasped.  
"What happened to…" he trailed off as he and Mrs Coulter stepped inside. Then he uttered a single, barely audible word.  
"Blood,"  
He took Mrs Coulter's other hand and led her into the lounge, sitting down on the sofa. She sat down next to him and he gently took her hand again and started to unwrap the bandage. She gritted her teeth as he ran his finger along the edge of the cut. Asriel went to find a fresh bandage and for a reason she couldn't explain, Mrs Coulter found herself crying. Asriel re-entered the room and put his arm around her.   
"I know," he whispered into her hair.  
"You got the letter?" she asked shakily.  
"Yes," he replied. His dæmon padded over to hers and lay down beside it.  
"It was Edward. He forced me to write it in my own blood. He, he…"  
She broke off, stuttering, not knowing how to finish her sentence.   
Asriel rested his head on her shoulder.  
When she had regained her composure, Mrs Coulter sighed heavily,  
"I'm sorry, I'll go,"   
She got up to leave and Asriel followed, slightly reluctant to let her go so soon.  
As she reached the doorway, she pulled Asriel into a tight hug.  
"Thank you for trusting me," she said quietly. She lifted his chin up so they locked eyes, he smiled and began to say something in return but Mrs Coulter cut him off with the kiss of a lifetime.   
"To make up for last time," she said, smiling at him.  
"Stay," he implored.  
"What about Edward?" she said worriedly.  
"What about him?" Asriel replied, and to stop her answering back, he planted a kiss on her lips.  
"He'll kill me if I'm not home," she said sadly.  
"Okay, just let me walk you home,"  
She smiled,   
"Just to the end of my road, or Edward will see you," he took her hand and together they wandered the streets of Oxford, making their walk as long as possible. When they reached the street Mrs Coulter lived on, they kissed goodbye and she walked up the road alone, her high heels clicking on the pavement. She walked sadly into her house, switched the light on and discovered a note on the kitchen table in her husband's messy handwriting.  
Marisa,  
I'm going away for a bit. I won't say where because I think time away from each other would be a blessing for both of us.   
See you in a week or so,  
Edward  
Without another thought, she ran out of her house and down the road, completely oblivious to the pain her high heels were causing her. She ran back to Asriel's house, finding it deserted, she sat down on the doorstep, pondering where he could be. It was too late in the day for him to be at college, so where was he?  
Deciding he probably went to The Silver Moon - a gentlemen's club that was situated a few streets away - she made her way there and reluctantly slithered, in not wanting to be noticed. Her guess had been right, it had only been fifteen minutes since he had left her but he was already surrounded by a considerable amount of empty glasses. He looked up as she put her hand on his shoulder,  
"Let's get you home," she said into his ear. She helped him to his feet and they walked down the street, dæmons following them, Mrs Coulter's golden monkey trying its best to keep the snow leopard on its feet.  
She helped Asriel into bed and then went downstairs to search the kitchen to see if she could find anything that could prevent the almost inevitable hangover he would wake up with in the morning.   
She found some slightly stale bread and filled a glass with water before making her way back upstairs.  
"Eat this," she said gently, sitting down on the bed. He accepted the toast gratefully and drank most of the water before asking,  
"What about your excuse for a husband?"  
"Gone away. I found a note on the kitchen table. I came here to find you and I think it was a good job I did!"   
He laughed. Mrs Coulter kissed him on the forehead and smiled.   
"Never do that again, you'll feel awful in the morning,"  
"I feel awful now," he groaned and rolled over, “and you sound like my mother,” he joked.  
She laid down next to him, putting her arm around his middle.


	7. Tricks and lies

Mrs Coulter was awoken by Asriel shutting the bedroom door. Groaning, she looked at the clock; it was half past four. She was about to roll over and go back to sleep when she remembered the probable reason Asriel had left the room this early in the morning. She listened hard, heard what she expected and got up, making her way to the bathroom door. She stood outside the door before turning the handle. It was locked.   
"Asriel?"   
He coughed and said,  
"Don't listen, I could do with a glass of water."  
She went downstairs, treading carefully on the bare floorboards to avoid getting splinters in her feet. When she returned, Asriel was sat on the bed, twiddling his thumbs and looking rather pale.  
“Drink this, it will take the taste away,” she said, as she sat down next to him, stroking his hair. He took the glass of water and sipped it tentatively. His dæmon swayed as she stepped closer to Mrs Coulter’s golden monkey.  
“You definitely need more rest,” she said firmly, kissing him on the cheek, “I’ll come back in an hour or so, I need to get out of these clothes, I’ve been wearing them for ages and I could do with going back home to get a few things.”  
She smiled and turned the light out,  
“Sleep, you’ll feel better for it,” she said, blowing him a kiss.  
Asriel heard her shut the door and then took her advice. He slept solidly for another four hours before waking up with a start. He looked at the clock - 8:45 - and decided he really should get up now. What had Marisa said? Back in an hour. But how long ago was that? He got to his feet, went to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on his face, dressed and walked briskly to Mrs Coulter’s house. Knocking on the door but receiving no answer, he shouted her name. Still getting no answer, he tried the door. Locked. He then went round to the back door. Finding it unlocked, he entered the lounge. Mrs Coulter’s dæmon was curled in the corner, whimpering softly and he could just see a spattering of blood next to him on the carpet.  
“Marisa!” he cried, kneeling down next to her, she was slumped against the back of the sofa and was lying unconscious, a deep gash on her head and several cuts and bruises adorned her arms and legs. The fabric of her light blue dress was sticking to the blood that was running over her. He started to clean her wounds taking dress fabric out of them. Once he had cleaned her as best he could, he lifted her onto the sofa and went upstairs to find something for her to wear and some bandages to cover her more serious wounds. He returned, gently dressed her cuts and wrapped a blanket over her. He sat on the arm of the sofa, stroking her hair, that was slightly matted because of the blood that had seeped into it. She groaned softly and rolled over, looking up at him with tired eyes.  
"Hello," he said, kissing her on the forehead. Her breathing was ragged and it was evident she was in a lot of pain.   
"What happened?" he said softly, stroking her face.  
"Edward…." she trailed off, the strain of speaking evidently too much to bear. She tried to sit up but gave up, clutching her side.  
"What did he do to you?" Asriel whispered into her hair.  
"It was a trick." she managed to say before passing out again.   
Asriel got shakily to his feet and slowly walked into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water, his dæmon didn't move, she stayed by Mrs Coulter's golden monkey, tenderly licking its fur. He spied the note on the table that Mrs Coulter had seen the day before. He screwed it up, brought it back to the lounge and threw it in the fire.   
It was an hour before Mrs Coulter awoke for a second time and had the strength to speak.   
"It was Edward," she said shakily, taking a deep breath, "He attacked me when I came back to the house earlier. He knew I hadn't been home last night and wanted to know where I was. When I wouldn't tell him he grabbed me by the hair, shoved me against the back of the sofa and hit me, presuming that would make me talk."  
"Why didn't you tell him?" Asriel asked.  
"I would rather he hit me than you." she sighed, clutching her side again.  
"It's all my fault," he said, a tear running down his face.  
"Shhh, don't cry,"   
Mrs Coulter reached up and stroked his face,  
"It's not your fault."  
"But-" he began to say but was interrupted by Mrs Coulter giving him a look that clearly said don't argue.  
Mrs Coulter began to slowly sit up, pulling a blanket around her. She went slightly pale but managed to stay conscious.  
"Where does it hurt?" Asriel asked.  
She leaned her head on his shoulder and said,  
"Pretty much everywhere,"  
"Anything I can do?"  
"You've done enough, without you, I'd still be unconscious behind the sofa and would probably have been dead before anyone found me."  
"Don't say that," Asriel said, putting his arms around in a gentle hug.  
She kissed him softly on his lips,   
"Thank you," she whispered into his ear. He carefully lifted her up; she winced but put her arms around his middle and smiled. He carried her upstairs and sat her down on the side of the bath then left so she could get undressed.  
"I would recommend washing your hair," he said through the crack in the door. She ran her fingers through it and grimaced at the amount of dried blood that fell out of it into the bathtub.   
"You could stay if you like," she giggled as she caught his expression.  
"You're injured, it would be taking advantage," he smiled as he re-entered the bathroom.  
He sat down by her head, rolled up his sleeves and began washing her hair, running his fingers through it. He found a slight bald patch which was presumably where Edward Coulter had yanked it out earlier. She winced again as she stepped out of the bath, wrapping a towel around herself. She dried her hair and then stared at the amount of blood on the towel. Throwing it in the bath with a grimace, she walked nervously to the mirror feeling a trickle of blood rolling down her forehead. She gasped as she saw the gash running from her hairline to her eyebrow. She washed the blood off her face and pressed a fresh towel to it. She walked shakily to her bedroom where Asriel had laid out a blouse, skirt and a cardigan for her before going downstairs to make tea. Holding the towel to her forehead with one hand, she dressed herself awkwardly with the other. The towel she was holding to her forehead now had a considerable amount of blood on it and she went back to the bathroom and threw it in the bath along with the previous towel.   
She made her way downstairs and dug out the first aid kit from the kitchen cupboard. Asriel came into the kitchen and put his hand on her shoulder.  
"Sit down, I'll find you a bandage," he said, wiping away another trickle of blood that was making its way down Mrs Coulter's face.  
"Where is Edward now?" Asriel asked, coming into the lounge with two cups of tea, a plate of biscuits and a bandage.   
"I don't know," Mrs Coulter replied, taking a shaky breath, "He could be back any minute, you should go, I don't want him to find you here,"  
Asriel sat down next to her and started to wrap the bandage around her head, stemming the bleeding.   
"I wouldn't leave you for the world," he said, tilting her face so he could kiss her on the lips.  
"Now, what still hurts?"   
"I think I've cracked a rib, I felt him kick me here before…" she broke off, indicating where her husband had kicked her. Asriel went to untuck her top from her skirt but then stopped, embarrassed. Mrs Coulter smiled weakly and sighed,  
"I'll have to do it myself then won't I?"   
She laughed but then winced against the pain it caused her.   
There was a large purple bruise on her left side and another on her stomach, both looked very painful.  
They finished their tea and biscuits in awkward silence and Mrs Coulter got up to go to bed. However, she swayed and fell back on to the sofa, hissing with pain. Asriel put his arms around her and lifted her up, kissing her gently on the forehead.  
"You need some rest," he said quietly, holding her close.   
She smiled as he took her upstairs and laid her down on her bed. His dæmon settled in the corner and her's padded softly over to it nuzzling into her fur.  
Asriel got up to go back downstairs with the idea of sleeping on the sofa but Mrs Coulter held on to his wrist,  
"Stay with me," she said with a small smile.   
"Okay, but nothing happens, I am here to take care of you," she pouted playfully but agreed to his terms and he lay down next to her, putting his arms around her again.   
"I thought you just made me agree that 'nothing happens because you're only supposed to be looking after me'" she giggled and rolled over onto her other side so she was facing him.  
"A hug is not a 'happening'" he said, stroking the side of her face. They shared a kiss and then fell into uneasy sleep.


	8. Anger

Asriel was woken suddenly by Marisa. She cried out, yelling at someone to let her go, to leave her alone. He prised his arms from around her, hoping she would calm down. When she didn't, he stroked her face and whispered calming words in her ear.  
After twenty minutes, Mrs Coulter woke up tears on her face, breathing shallowly. Asriel put his arms around her in a comforting embrace. She hugged him back and said,  
"He was here, again, he was coming for me, and, and,"  
"Shhhh, he's not here, it's okay,"  
She cried into his shoulder for a considerable amount of time before she sniffed and wiped her face with a handkerchief.  
"Come on, you look in need of a good cup of tea,"   
Asriel came back upstairs carrying two cups of tea.  
"Weren't you supposed to be giving a presentation at college today?" Mrs Coulter asked, looking at the clock on her dressing table.  
Asriel sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders,  
"I was, but I said I couldn't make it. It was the last one before Christmas but I decided you were much more important."   
"You shouldn't have cancelled, I can look after myself."   
She tried to fake indignation but Asriel said with a laugh,  
"You love it really,"  
She flopped back on the bed, wincing again with pain.   
Asriel lay down beside her and kissed her on the cheek.   
******  
Edward Coulter was angry. His wife had never really liked him but this was a step too far. He never expected her to fall in love with someone else, especially someone he loathed. Was it love or was she just with Asriel to spite him? He kicked the wall of his hotel room, venting his anger. His dæmon had taken up residence under the bed and kept grumbling into the carpet. He would not go back to her until she stopped seeing Asriel and apologised for her actions. From under the bed, his dæmon said,  
"You know, they'll be at your house now, Asriel won't have moved her to his, she'll be too weak. If you want to get back at him, go and do it like a man, not sit cowering in a corner until he goes away."  
Asriel and Marisa woke to a loud hammering on the door. Asriel looked at the clock, they had evidently fallen asleep again, his tea was cold and the clock read half past five.  
"I'll get it," he said, getting up.  
"But what if it's-" Mrs Coulter protested, but he was already gone. She got up to follow but - too dizzy to stand - collapsed to the floor, out cold.  
Mrs Coulter opened her eyes, finding herself staring at the carpet. She listened intently, shifting to a sitting position, not trusting herself to stand.   
She could hear her husband's voice - he sounded incredibly angry. She flinched, crawling to the door. She heard the front door slam and footsteps fading down the gravel driveway. Cautiously, she got to her feet, holding the door handle for support. She listened. Silence. That wasn't good.  
Holding onto the banister for support she made her way downstairs unsteadily, almost tripping over Asriel's dæmon who was unconscious half way down. She carefully stepped around the snow leopard and reached Asriel. He was lying at the bottom of the stairs with a nasty cut to his shoulder and several blossoming purple bruises on his face. Not being strong enough to move him, she sat down next to him and stroked his hair. She began to cry softly, her tears landing on his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and locked with her's. Groggily, he sat up and hugged her.  
"It's all my fault, you cancelled your speech to stay with me, if you hadn't, you wouldn't have been here for him to…" she broke off, and buried her face in Asriel’s shoulder.  
"Shhh, it's okay, I'm fine,"  
"You're tougher than I am," she said helping him to his feet. He smiled weakly, wincing as he put weight on his ankle, which he thought must have twisted when he fell.   
"What did he do to you?" Mrs Coulter asked as she sat down next to him.  
"Goodness knows, I don't think I was conscious for most of it," Asriel replied.  
After a few moments of silence Asriel said,   
"I think I need to go home, you could come too, he doesn't know where I live, it would be safer for the both of us,"


	9. The North

Asriel was fuming, he hadn't seen Marisa in days and it was all her stupid husband's fault. Edward Coulter had come back to her house when he was out and he hadn't gone anywhere without her since. The only times he got fleeting glimpses of her was at college where she was always tagging behind her husband with a fake smile on her face. Asriel could tell it was fake because it didn't reach her eyes. When she truly smiled, her eyes lit up, sparkling brightly.   
He was pondering how to see her again when he had a very good idea. He had been asked to set up a study class for people interested in what he was studying but he hadn't done anything about it. What if he could get Mrs Coulter to join his study class? It would be an excellent excuse to see her every day and she wouldn't be with her husband because he was so busy with what he was studying. It was genius!  
He quickly drafted a poster - he would draw some more tomorrow.  
Three days later he was staring at a class of seven men and no women. His plan had not worked. He went ahead with his class, which lasted an hour and he was just clearing his desk when he heard the click clack of heels on the stone floor outside.   
"Hello" Mrs Coulter was standing there smiling at him. Asriel hugged her tightly and said into her hair,   
"You're late,"  
"I'm sorry, I couldn't get away from Edward, he's not letting me go anywhere alone."  
"I've missed you,"  
"I'm going North in two weeks, you could come too,"  
"What would I tell Edward?"  
"Tell him you're going alone, for your studies, he knows what you're interested in doesn't he?"  
"Mostly…" she trailed off.  
"He doesn't know where you are, does he?" he looked at her, faking disapproval. She shook her head sadly,  
"I'll think of something," she said.   
"Marisa? Where are you?" Edward Coulter's voice echoed down the corridor, cutting into their thoughts.   
"I've got to go," she kissed him quickly and exited the classroom. Asriel was left feeling like he had a hundred butterflies in his stomach. He picked up his papers from his desk and walked home with a new spring in his step. He was going North in two weeks and there was a high chance that the love of his life would be going with him.  
******  
Two weeks later Asriel was sat at the front of his airship, alone.  
"What did I tell you, she's unreliable and not good enough for you,"  
For this comment, his dæmon was banished to the other side of the airship. Asriel sighed and looked out of the window. He didn't believe that Mrs Coulter had not come with him because she didn't want to, she was too polite to be invited somewhere and not come without a good reason. What's more, she seemed enthusiastic when he mentioned travelling North with her when he had last seen her.  
He arrived at his laboratory in the North late that day and collapsed onto his bed. He was exhausted and he fell asleep almost at once.  
He awoke to a very loud and insistent knock on the door. He rolled over, confused. He was as far North as you could get and it was nearly Christmas, who would be stupid enough to be outside in the cold?  
He got up to investigate, heaving the heavy door open. Mrs Coulter was standing there in a long burgundy coat and black boots, looking slightly sheepish and very cold. Her dæmon was barely visible because of the amount of snow that had blown over it.  
"Marisa! What on earth? Come in,"  
He drew her into a tight hug trying to warm her up. Even though she was wearing a very thick coat, she was still freezing and her hair was being weighed down by snow.   
“How did you get here?” Asriel asked, sitting her down on a chair.  
“I persuaded Edward to let me come but by the time I arrived at the college you had left. Edward said I could borrow his airship but we crashed in the blizzard, I only just got out in time. I walked the rest of the way, following the light from your windows.”  
“Oh Marisa, I’m sorry. I had to leave quickly because another airship needed to land, I didn’t think you were coming,”  
After a pause, he said, “Was there anyone else on the airship?”  
“Just the driver, he didn’t get out in time. I tried to get him out but I couldn’t, not before it caught fire,”  
“Come upstairs, a hot bath and some clean warm clothes is what you need,"   
“It’s good to see you,” he said before picking her up and carrying her upstairs.  
“I can walk, you know,” Mrs Coulter replied mischievously.  
“Oh well, if you’re sure,” Asriel said with a wink, putting her back on her feet.  
He showed her where the bathroom was and turned back the way he’d come to fetch her some clean clothes from her suitcase.


	10. The truth

Mrs Coulter was examining Asriel's camera; it was pointing out of the window at the sky, poised to capture the northern lights in all their glory.  
Asriel had a temporary lapse in interest for his work because of the novelty of decorating the Christmas tree. Marisa laughed as Asriel threw some tinsel around his neck and continued to delve into the box of decorations. He pulled out a few strands of ribbon and then produced a very dead plant.  
"Oh, the year I need it, it decides to die!" he said in exasperation.  
He threw it across the room and it landed a few metres from the bin.  
"You should know better than to think I need that kind of persuasion," Marisa giggled, leaned over the metal railings of the stairs and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Oh that can't be it," Asriel said, looking extremely disappointed.  
"Oh?" she smiled, sitting on the stair-rail so she could face him.  
"Be careful, you could-"   
She jumped from the stair-rail into his arms.  
"Fall," he finished his sentence awkwardly. To cover the awkwardness he ran his hand through her hair, taking out the grips so it fell in thick curls down her back.  
"Not putting me down then?" she grinned and before he could answer, she kissed him on the lips, letting her hand climb to the back of his neck.  
"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" Asriel said looking lovingly into her eyes.  
"Not like that," she replied, kissing him again. She put her feet on the ground and stood up so she could put her arms around him properly.  
"I've been wanting to give you this," Asriel said, producing a locket from his pocket. He undid the clasp and put it around her neck. She turned it over and read the inscription inside.  
Merry Christmas Marisa  
Love Rupert x  
She stood, stunned. When she eventually found her voice she said slowly,  
"How long have you been wanting to give this to me?"  
Asriel sighed and said,   
"Five and a half years,"  
"Then you have a lot of explaining to do," Mrs Coulter said, kissing him again.  
"I would if you could keep yourself off me for two seconds,"  
Mrs Coulter laughed and sat down on the armchair, looking embarrassed.  
"Oh don't look at me like that," Asriel said, "you make me feel bad,"   
He walked across the room and sat beside her on the arm of her chair, putting his arm around her.   
"From the beginning?" he said, sighing slightly.  
"Okay," Mrs Coulter replied hesitantly, shifting over slightly so there was a small amount of room on the armchair for him to sit down.  
"You really think I can fit there?" he joked, scooping her up in his arms so he could sit down comfortably.  
"Before I explain, I just want to say that I'm sorry, and I don't care what you think of me afterwards,"  
Mrs Coulter smiled sadly as Asriel continued,  
"On that day your mother took you away from me…" he broke off, the memory was obviously still painful.   
"On that day, my father left my mother. He had been shouting constantly at my mother for the past few months but it was still a shock for her. I was allowed to take some time away from college to be with her. I was so full of hatred towards my father that I changed my name. I took the name Asriel, which was my grandfather's name and Belacqua, which was my mother's maiden name. I didn't want to be associated with him anymore. By the time I came back to college I had changed a lot. I'd gotten taller and grown up a bit and hardly anybody recognised me for the man I used to be. I told my friends I wanted to be known as Asriel and that was that. As for you, I knew you would be married to Edward and I didn't want to interfere with your life further." he paused, sighing deeply.  
"I realise now that I probably should have told you sooner but I never really found the right moment."  
Asriel looked up to see that Mrs Coulter had tears on her face.   
"Oh, Marisa I'm so sorry,"  
Mrs Coulter was toying between slapping him or kissing him. Deciding on the latter, she took his face in her hands and said,  
"I'm glad you told me," before kissing him on the lips.  
"I thought you'd be cross," Asriel said.  
"I am cross, but I love you too much to stay cross for long,"  
Mrs Coulter stood up and walked over to the window gazing out at the northern lights, which were shimmering in the sky above.  
"Your dæmon…" Asriel began to say as he walked over to join her, his own dæmon taking residence on the chair he had vacated.  
"Settled the same day you-" she didn't get to finish her sentence, she was cut off by Asriel who had put his arms around her and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back, never wanting it to end. Asriel wrapped his arms around her and held her close,  
"I'll never let you go again," he whispered into her hair.


	11. A present

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Mrs Coulter remarked as they gazed out of the window the next morning.  
“Not as beautiful as you,” Asriel said with a grin, putting his arm around her shoulders.  
“You know this can’t go on forever,” Mrs Coulter said sadly.  
“I know,”  
“I’m scared to go back to him,” Mrs Coulter said, shuddering at the thought.  
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,”   
“Yes I do, he’ll find me if I try to hide from him and as much as I’d like to, I can’t stay here forever. I haven’t been able to feel my feet since I arrived.”  
Asriel laughed and walked over to his desk. He dug around in the top draw and threw a pair of thick socks across the room to Mrs Coulter. She caught them and put them on.  
“Any better?”   
“Not really,”  
“Well I’ll have to do something about that wont I?” Asriel said. His dæmon flopped across her feet as he sat beside her. He kissed the top of her head and put his arm around her shoulders.  
“Merry Christmas," Mrs Coulter said, slipping a box wrapped in Christmas paper into his hand.  
"You didn't have to get me anything," Asriel said, blushing as he unwrapped the parcel. Inside was a cylindrical box covered in purple velvet. He opened it slowly, not knowing what to expect.   
"Oh, Marisa it's beautiful,"   
A silver telescope stared up at him from the inside of the box. He stood up and took it over to the window.   
"It's the best telescope I've ever owned," Asriel said, grinning as he turned to hug his lover.  
Their dæmons were curled up in the corner, eyes closed, looking as if this was the place they could happily spend the rest of their lives.


	12. Edward's anger

“What are you going to do?” Asriel asked, sitting down next to Mrs Coulter and putting his arm around her shoulders. It was two days before Asriel had to leave his laboratory in the North to go back to Oxford to give a presentation on his research. Mrs Coulter was worried about what her husband would say when she arrived home, even though he had known where she was going, she didn’t know what he had found out since. What's more, her journey north was the reason he no longer had an airship.  
“You’re worried.” Asriel said, correctly interpreting her silence.  
“How did you know?” she said, sighing and leaning her head on his shoulder.  
“I would be,”  
“That really isn’t comforting,” Mrs Coulter replied, shifting to look at him.  
“Sorry,”   
They sat in silence for a while before Mrs Coulter spoke again,  
“These last few months have been the best months of my life,”  
“Mine too,” Asriel said wistfully,  
“Thank you,” Mrs Coulter said, as she kissed his cheek softly.  
“I’ll come and see you tomorrow after my presentation if I can,” Asriel said before lifting Mrs Coulter on to his lap. She made an involuntary noise of surprise as he kissed her passionately on the lips, his hands running through her hair. Her hands came to rest on his shoulder blades and she hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go.  
******  
“Well I found her! She wouldn’t be alive if it hadn’t been for my hospitality. Your wife would have frozen to death within two days if I hadn’t come to her aid and you wouldn’t have been any the wiser!”   
They were back in Oxford and Asriel was having a heated argument with Edward Coulter in an empty classroom. Mrs Coulter shouldn’t have been listening but it was very hard not to hear them.  
“And what happened to my airship? It can’t have been an accident, I only had it fixed two days before Marisa left and it was completely fine! She must have done something to it to make it crash.”  
“Why would she be so stupid as to crash an airship she was journeying on? It blew up for heaven’s sake!”  
“Don’t ask me to explain the way my stupid excuse for a wife’s mind works!” Edward yelled as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.  
He grabbed his wife by the wrist and left for home, he would deal with her later.  
Asriel was left in the classroom, stunned. He knew that Edward Coulter would be angry that he and Marisa had arrived back together but he never expected him to accuse his wife of tampering with his airship. He had tried to defend her as best he could but he didn’t know if he’d done enough to convince him that Mrs Coulter wasn’t to blame. He knew what Edward could do when he was angry and he didn’t like to think of what he would do to Mrs Coulter if he still believed that the airship crash was her doing.

“Marisa I need to talk to you,” Edward said tentatively over dinner that evening. He'd not spoken to his wife since he had unleashed his fury earlier when he shouted at her through her bedroom door until he gave up shouting and decided to wait for her to want to talk to him.  
“Go on then, talk. I’m listening.”  
“You and Asriel…” he began but broke off to look at his wife’s face. It was a mixture of concern and regret, masking sadness and longing.  
“I told you, it’s over,” Marisa lied quite convincingly most of the time so it was easy to tell this little lie.  
“Prove it.”


	13. Lying for the best

The next day Mrs Coulter awoke to the sound of a bird chirping outside her window. She grimaced has she pulled her husband's arm from around her and rolled over and looked at the clock - it read 3 o’clock in the morning. Cursing the birds for waking her up, she pulled her blanket over her shoulders and tried to get back to sleep. Something cut through her thoughts, somebody was knocking on the door. She got to her feet and pulled her nightgown around her, feeling for the door handle in the half-dark. When she got to the door there was nobody there, a small package lay on the doorstep along with a letter and a key with a tag attached to it which read Come and visit when you get the chance, Asriel x  
She picked them up and took them into the kitchen, placing them on the table. She took the letter out of its envelope and began to read.  
Dear Marisa,  
I hope you are okay and you didn’t get much grief from Edward. He seemed to think you had tampered with the airship and he was really cross about it. I hope this letter finds you unharmed and I would love to still be able to see you. I have enclosed my house key for whenever you might need it and I hope you like the book. I found it in the college library today and I thought it might interest you.  
All my love,  
Asriel  
Putting the letter gently down on the table, she picked up the package and unwrapped it carefully. The title of the book was written in gold lettering and it gleamed up at her from the cover. It read The Science and Sightings of the Northern Lights  
She took the letter and the book upstairs, placing the key in her coat pocket as she passed it in the hallway. Sitting down on her bed, she put the letter under her mattress and carefully laid the book on her lap, scanning the contents page. Deciding to read the first chapter and then go to sleep she began. Edward found her an hour later with her head on her book, fast asleep. He chuckled inwardly to himself as he removed the book from under her head and laid her down gently on her pillows. He found he had developed a fondness for her after nearly losing her. He wasn’t to know that his wife didn’t feel the same way.  
*****  
Mrs Coulter awoke the next morning and prised her husband’s arm from around her with disgust. She got dressed quietly so as not to wake him and left the house. She didn’t know where she was intending to go but anywhere was better than the place she was leaving.  
After an hour of wandering through the green spaces of Oxford, Mrs Coulter sat down on one side of an ornate bench. She felt her dæmon sit beside her and rest its head on her lap. She felt it put its paw in her coat pocket and she slapped it away. She flinched as she felt something sharp dig into her side and put her hand in her pocket to investigate. She brought out the key to Asriel’s house which she had put there last night. Smiling to herself, she got up from the bench and headed towards Asriel’s house, hoping he was there. She really needed someone to talk to that wasn’t her husband.  
She wound her way through the streets of Oxford and stopped outside Asriel’s front door. She decided to knock, just to be safe so she gingerly lifted the brass knocker but before she could let go, the door flew open and she was enveloped in Asriel’s embrace.  
“Your husband didn’t hurt you did he?” Asriel asked into the folds of her coat.  
“No, I’m fine,”  
“I gave you a key for a reason you know,” Asriel said as he stepped back to let her inside.  
“I know, I came,”  
“You were going to knock on the door”  
“I didn’t want to intrude,” Mrs Coulter said shyly as she walked to the window and looked out. Asriel came up behind her and put his arms around her,  
“Where does your husband think you are?”  
“He doesn’t know I went out, knowing him, he’s probably still asleep,”  
“Then we’ve got all the time in the world,”  
Asriel brushed Mrs Coulter’s hair aside and placed a soft kiss on her neck, breathing in the smell of her perfume. She turned around and their lips met, Asriel had missed kissing her, it was so hard to get her alone when her husband was around so much. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed the feeling of her arms around him.  
“I miss you,” Mrs Coulter said when they broke apart.  
“I love you,” Asriel said quietly into her hair, “What if you could come and live with me?”  
“Oh Asriel you know I’d love to but what would I say to Edward?”  
“He doesn’t have to know, does he?”  
“But what if-”  
Her words were cut off by a loud knock at the door; Asriel ran to the window and looked out.  
“It’s Edward, hide somewhere, I’ll try and keep him outside.”  
Mrs Coulter heard Asriel’s footsteps going downstairs and his dæmon’s paws padding softly behind him. She pressed her ear to the door and listened intently.  
“Where is my wife?”  
“How am I supposed to know?”  
“How do you explain this then?”  
She heard a rustling of paper and Asriel’s voice falter.  
“As I say, I haven’t seen her, I wrote to her yesterday and haven’t had a reply, I don’t know why you think I would know where she is.”  
“Because you love her,”  
“It doesn’t mean she loves me back,”  
“Fine, she’s probably wandered off somewhere, good riddance if you ask me. If you see her, tell her I’ve gone into college.”  
Asriel shut the door and slid down it to sit on the floor. Mrs Coulter came down the stairs and sat down on the floor with him.  
“He’s gone into college, we should be ok for a few hours,”  
“I know, I heard,”  
She put her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder.  
“How about staying here?” Asriel asked as he moved to put his arms around her properly, “For as long as you want.”  
“That would be nice,” Mrs Coulter replied, turning his face towards hers so she could look him in the eyes. Her dæmon nestled its head into Asriel’s snow leopard’s fur as she kissed him softly on the lips.


	14. I love you

“Is there some way you can divorce your husband and marry me instead?” Asriel asked with a smile as he entered the room with two glasses of wine, handing one to his lover.  
“I wish it was that easy,” Mrs Coulter sighed.  
“Where does he think you are?”  
“I was vague, I said it was to further my knowledge of the north and left it at that. He only let me go because he’s going on some boring business trip. As if!”  
“What do you mean by that?” Asriel asked as he sat down next to her.  
“I’m sure he’s having an affair,”  
Asriel nearly spat out his wine as he tried to stifle a laugh, “You can talk!” he said as he tried to compose himself.  
Mrs Coulter rolled her eyes in response and her dæmon took a playful swipe at Asriel’s snow leopard who instantly pounced on Mrs Coulter’s monkey, pinning it to the ground with one paw.  
“Ow! That’s taking it a bit far, don’t you think?” Mrs Coulter laughed as her dæmon wriggled free and scurried under the sofa.  
“I suppose, but he did put up a good fight,”  
“It’s my willpower, something you considerably lack,” Mrs Coulter joked, earning her an elbow in the side from Asriel who used his other arm to draw her into a hug.  
“I’m glad you’re here,” Asriel said as he buried his face in her hair.  
“Me too,” Mrs Coulter replied as she pulled back from the hug just enough to kiss him on the lips.  
“I-” Asriel tried to say but Mrs Coulter silenced him by running her thumb gently over his lips before kissing him again.  
“I love you, Asriel,” she said when they broke apart.


	15. Runaway

“Asriel…” Mrs Coulter paused in thought, pondering how best to say her next sentence.  
“What?” Asriel interjected, putting down his newspaper and indicating for his lover to sit beside him.  
“I-” she sighed, a worried expression on her face.  
“Spit it out or we’ll be here all day!” Asriel laughed.  
“I’m pregnant,” Mrs Coulter said, letting out a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding.  
“Who’s is its?”   
“Oh don’t be stupid Asriel!” Mrs Coulter snapped, “It can only be yours and you know it!”  
“I can’t do this,”  
“It will be ok-” Mrs Coulter began to say but Asriel was already out of the front door and had run down the drive.  
Mrs Coulter stood in the doorway of Asriel’s house. She had made her decision. She didn’t need him. She would have to be stronger on her own.


End file.
